همراهان قصهنامگ اگه اجازه بدین، این قسمت رو با ی درخواستی از شما شروع کنم. ممنون از همکاری و همراهیتون. امکانش هست خواهش کنم، حوزۀ فعالیت این شرکت رو مشخص کنید:
«دانای شایستة جدول خودکار»
( در گفتوگوی زیر، مخاطبها با علامت اختصاری «م» بههمراه شماره و رافعالقصه هم با علامت اختصاری «ر.ق» مشخص میشن).
م1: مؤسسۀ فرهنگیه؟
ر.ق: چطور؟
م1: خب «دانایی» با علم و فرهنگ مناسبت داره، نداره؟!
ر.ق: بله، داره، ممنون!
***
ر.ق:…شما…بله، شما لطفا میفرمایید.
م2: هرچی هست با علم شیرین ریاضیات ی ربطی داره!
ر.ق: جانم؟!
م2: خب صحبت علم که هست، همه میدونن علم اصلی ریاضیاته، بعدشم «جدول»، جدول با چی غیر ریاضیات نسبت داره؟!
ر.ق: بله، درست میفرمایید!
***
ر.ق:…خب شما هم بفرمایید؟!
م3: عرضم بهحضورتون «دانا» و «خودکار» دو سر ماجرا هستند. احتمالا موضوع فعالیت در گرو نوشتن و نویسندگیه.
ر.ق: احسنت…
م3: یعنی درست گفتم؟
ر.ق: بنده نمیدونم.
م1،2،3: (یکصدا) نمیدونین؟
ر.ق: نه واقعا!
م1: مارو سر کار گذاشتین؟
م2: مسخره کردی؟
م3: نفله!
ادامۀ ین گفتوگو بهدلایل فنی قابل پخش نیست.
***
القصه، با از این و اون پرسیدن که به جایی نرسیدم؛ پس تصمیم گرفتم، برم سراغ اصل ماجرا. شمارۀ روی کارت شرکت رو گرفتم و … ( در ادامۀ گفتوگو، منشی با علامت اختصاری «من» و رافعالقصه هم کماکان «ر.ق» مشخص شدهاند).
ر.ق: الو سلام. «دانای شایستۀ جدول خودکار»؟
من: سلام. بلللللله؟
ر.ق: «دانای شایستۀ جدول خودکار»؟
من: چییییییی؟!
ر.ق: عرض کردم، «دانای شایستۀ جدول خودکار»؟
من: دیشب چی خوردی که اول صبحی اینقد بامزه شدی؟
من: بله بفرمایید.
ر.ق: بلههههههه؟
من: مزاااااحم!
کوبیده شدن گوشی و صدای بوق. بعد از ده دقیقه…
ر.ق: ببخشید شرکت….ممم؟
ر.ق: سلام خانم، خسته نباشید.
من: ممنون بفرمایید.
ر.ق: ببخشید شرکتِ…؟
من: شرکت «شایسته»، بفرمایید!
ر.ق: شااااایستههههه؟؟؟؟
من: ….بله!
ر.ق: ببخشید شرکت «شایسته» در چه زمینهای فعالیت داره؟
من: نانوتکنولوژی.
ر.ق: جااااااانم؟!
من: بلهههه؟
ر.ق: هیچی، ببخشید من با شرکت «جدول» کار داشتم.
من: تو همون مزاحم قبلی هستی، آررررررررررر
منشی وسط کشیدن حرف «ر» بود که فورا گوشی رو قطع کردم.
***
خیر اساسا این ماجرا ختم بهخیر نمیشه و نخواهد شد. بهتر دیدم ی بازی جدید با اسامی شرکتهای سوب خلق کنم. اونم اینکه اسامی شرکتها رو فهرست کنم و از بازیکنها بخوام از طریق اسامی، فعالیت شرکتها رو حدس بزنن. شما هم بیاین با این فهرست دمدستی بازی کنیم…خیلی هم عالی، شرکت اول: رهدار کاج عالی،…خب ظاهرا هیچکی نتونست حدس بزنه، بریم بعدی…من؟ منم نمیدونم…دِ اگه میدونستم که ایدۀ این بازی اصلا شکل نمیگرفت. خب شرکت بعدی: شیر راد کیان… بعدی: مکعب رودسازان… خانۀ آباد دست همسایه….
کمترین
رافعالقصه
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